First sketchbook of 2016

I keep a tiny little sketchbook by my desk. Every day I try to fill up a page. These aren't intended to be finished drawings, but they sure are fun, and a nice break from the type type type that normally takes place at my desk.

Anyway, I just finished the latest sketchbook. Here are some of my favorite pages.

Hopefully I'll get back to completing some fully inked drawings at some point this year!

George Lucas’s Star Wars Working Title List

Many ages ago, before the first Star Wars movie started filming, George Lucas had trouble coming up with a name for his planned opus. Here we unearth his working title list, along with insight into his thought process:

The Star Wars (too silly?)

The War of the Stars (getting closer)

Starry Warriors (almost there)

Starving Warriors of the Stars (sequel?)

Starry Star Stars (don’t get punchy, George)

Starve Warts (save this for another project)

Luke and Darth’s Amazing Adventure (now you’re thinking)

War Constellation (back to war, huh. I think I’m on to something here. maybe check thesaurus for other words for “war”)

Battle Beyond the Stars (there we go)

Battle in the Stars (closer)

Battle of the Stars (closest)

Battle of the Network Stars (already in use? check this out.)

BattleStars (oh my)

Battle Constellation (no, let’s not go there again)

Conflict Among the Stars (am I just obsessed with stars?)

No Peace in Starville (save for project #3)

The Rogue Shoots First (trying something different; too vague)

Robots and Rogues (okay, that’s a little too French)

Hidden Fortress in Space (oops, let’s not get sued!)

Star Fortress in Space (this is getting tiring)

Star Wars (oh fuck it)

2014: My year in books

I have a room in my house devoted to books and comic books. Boxes and boxes of the damn things. They've been sitting there for a few months, ever since we moved from Maine to Oregon. Some day soon I'll start to buy some new bookcases, un-box the books and spread them around the house, but for now they'll just have to sit there where the movers dumped them this past August.

Hopefully it won't take too long to dig into those boxes, because I own hundreds (if not thousands) of books and comics that I haven't had a chance to read yet. I read an average of a book or two a week, but there's never enough time to truly catch up, is there? This year's move -- not to mention my excessive work schedule and the terrible health problems that plagued my family -- also served to slow down my reading.

I know you're waiting for the total, so here it is: I read 100 books this year. That's a lot, but it's quite a bit below the 119 books that I read in 2013 and the 115 that I read in 2012. It's also a much lower number of pages: I read more short books (primarily graphic novels) than anything else this year. That's an adaptation that I needed to make. With everything going on this past year, I just didn't have the luxury of focusing on longer, more involved novels as much as I wanted to.

I did read some damned good books, though. Top of the list, "Cabinet of Curiosities" by Guillermo del Toro. If you want to read something that will inspire you and kickstart your creativity, pick this one up.

Worst book? Well, I think the most disappointing one was "To Hell You Ride," a graphic novel by actor Lance Henriksen, whose extreme right-wing politics and conspiracy theories destroy a story that had a lot of potential.

Now, looking at books alone hardly captures the true depth of my reading in 2014. I read a LOT of articles, short stories, individual comic books and essays that could never be tallied in a way like this.

Looking ahead, I'm going to work hard to get back to reading novels this year. I have a few boxes of them ready and waiting for me, after all.

Hot Stuff, Stumbo the Giant and the worst comic-book villain of all time

Lately I find myself absolutely obsessed with old "Hot Stuff" comic books. Yes, the little red devil in a diaper, the guy you see on all kinds of bad tattoos and almost nowhere else these days. I know it seems silly, but the Hot Stuff stories (usually written and drawn by the late Howie Post) are full of great wordplay and absolutely amazing cartooning. I can't get enough of them.

But "Hot Stuff" wasn't just about Hot Stuff. Each issue also features a truly charming "Stumbo the Giant" story by another late cartoonist, Warren Kremer. I love the "Stumbo" stories and they deserve a massive, comprehensive book collection. Kremer's artwork is a wonder to behold. His lines are full of life and style and Stumbo, who's all heart, is one of the all-time great comic-book characters. 

Once in a while, Stumbo faced off against the guy you see above, Dr. Cesspool, probably the ugliest and worst-named villain to ever appear in a kid's comic. Luckily the dude was a pretty incompetent mad scientist. In one particular episode (from an issue of "Devil Kids" that I picked up at last week's Rose City Comic Con), he gave first Stumbo and then a volcano a fake case of the measles (yes, you read that right). Obviously, things did not work out the way he had planned.

Dr. Cesspool may be a silly and kinda stupid mad scientist, but the story was drawn with style and genius. I plan on tracking down more "Hot Stuff" issues in the future.

New e-books galore

My previously published short stories continue to reappear as new e-books for Kindle. I'm having a lot of fun revisiting these old tales -- which I still think are pretty darned good. I'm also have a good time adding new essays to each story and designing the covers. My earliest book cover designs were, I'll admit, fairly weak, but the latest few are actually pretty good. 

Anyway, these stories are all just 99 cents each. Check 'em out through my Amazon Author page here. I hope you enjoy them!

Would you sell your soul for a full head of hair?

Some of my short stories have been out of print for way too long. It's time to fix that. I'm going to start bringing a few of my older tales back into "print" as Kindle e-books. Here's the first: A Hell-Fire Cure for Baldness.

This new edition doesn't change a word of the original story (I think it stands up pretty well), but I did add a nice little piece about the origins of the story and its long and varied publication history.

This has long been one of my most popular short stories. I hope you'll check it out if it's new to you.

(PS -- I had fun designing that cover. It's not New York publishing-house quality, but I think it came out pretty well and I learned a few things in the process of creating it. You can't ask for more than that.)

I have a secret

Secret time... Another writer and I are sharing this pseudonym as an excuse to have some creative fun. We have each written a book of complete nonsense poetry. This one is mine. Thirty poems, not one of which makes a lick of sense. I think it's fun and funny and more than a little odd. I hope you'll check it out.

Even better, I hope you'll add a review that makes as little sense as the book itself. Set yourself free of meaning. Have fun. The sad-faced pug demands it.

Poems That Don't Make Any Sense

I wrote the marketing copy for this new e-book, which also features one of my photographs on the cover:

Poems That Don't Make Any Sense is free for the next three days on Kindle. After that, it's just 99 cents. Check it out. It's funny...and more than a little odd.

Coke-head

Last year, as part of a long-term plan to cut down the amount of chemicals I put in my body, I gave up my daily (or twice-daily) can of Diet Coke. I may have had the jitters once or twice, and I'm sure I dreamed about swimming in a pool full of caramel, but within a few weeks I was fine.

Today at the grocery store, feeling both overheated and tired, I spied the little fridge next to the register, broke down, and bought myself a bottle of Diet Coke.

Oh, it tasted so good. So good.....

A few weeks from now, if you suddenly stop hearing from me, take a look in the nearest dark alley, where you may find me sprawled amongst a clattering heap of empty soda cans, moaning quietly to myself, "I can give it up any time I want....."

10 ways to get away with murder

10. Wear a really bad, distracting disguise, like a pink bunny costume or golf pants.
9. Pick targets that nobody cares about, like novelists or cartoonists.
8. Don't leave behind any DNA. Cover your entire body with duct tape ahead of time. (Note: make sure to leave holes for at least one eye and maybe a nostril.)
7. Do not live-Tweet the crime. #amateurhour
6. Have no motive. (Does not having a motive count as a motive?)
5. Don't kill anyone in any place where you have ever been before. (Bring a GPS. It's easy to get lost.)
4. Never tell anyone what you did, except for your girlfriend or wife. I'm sure she'll understand and keep your secret, right Mr. Drinks Too Much?
3. Do not purchase your stolen, untraceable gun with a credit card or personal check.
2. Never post a blog entitled '10 ways to get away with murder.'
1. Don't kill anybody. Yeah, that's probably the best way. Go play a video game or something.

5 ways you can tell I'm 'from away'

Even though I have now lived in this corner of Maine for a little over five years, I will always be considered a "person from away" -- not because I don't have a Maine accent, but because my great-grandparents weren't born here.

But if you didn't hear me speak or have access to my pedigree, there are several other ways you can tell I'm not originally from here pretty darn quickly:

1. I don't pull out the shorts as soon as it hits 50 degrees. Heck, it's 55 today and I'm wearing long pants and a sweater. I feel no shame in this, only cold. I don't mind the cold, I just respect it. And keep it at least a few millimeters away from my skin.

2. You won't find me doing my banking at 7am. A lot of people here start their workdays pretty damned early. It isn't always their choice, but in general, folks are up with or before the sun. Me? I like the daytime, sure, but nothing is getting me out of bed before 7:15. (8 if I'm lucky.)

3. I don't have a camp. Mainers are awesome about going back to nature on the weekend, and most of people I know have cabins or whatever somewhere off the beaten track. That's fantastic, but I can barely keep up with one domicile, let alone two. Plus, there's a lot of good TV on during the weekend.

4. My wardrobe includes nothing from Columbia Sportswear, Carhartt or LL Bean. Again, this is pretty much because I'm not an outdoorsman, but it's also because I'm usually too cheap to buy this stuff. (Yes, I'm even more frugal than your average Mainer.) Although, having said this, I just got the new Bean catalog and some of the stuff looks pretty darn nice. Hmm...

5. And finally, I don't like lobster. I know lobster fishing is one of the primary economies of coastal Maine, but I can't stand the taste of those little red buggers. Give me a nice piece of chicken any day.

New cartoonage!

Because I do not update this blog nearly often enough (shameshameshameshame), I have neglected my authorial duty to inform you all that there are new Platt cartoons out there in the universe!

Yes, my Plattitudes webcomic has been relaunched, appearing here on this very same Blogger doohickey. I'm posting a new cartoon every Monday and a rerun cartoon (often re-scanned or otherwise reworked) every Wednesday. If things go well enough, I'll move to two new 'toons every week.

Right now, I have enough new cartoons in the hopper to run through mid-May. Tons and tons more await in the sketchbook, so I have enough material to last for at least a year. Assuming my drawing hand holds out, that is.

But that's the future. For now, you can read my new Plattitudes cartoons...

Here.

10 new names for 'Global Warming'

One of the biggest reasons so many people don't believe the world is warming is because the terms "global warming" and "climate change" are too weak. If we're going to get more people on board, we need a better name for what's going on. Here are my top ten choices:

• Catastrophic climate chaos.
• Weather wackiness.
• Global oh-crap.
• Climate we're fucked.
• Climate change change change change change.
• Global microwaving.
• Global baking.
• The coming cannibalism crisis.
• Global grand mal seizure.
• Fuck yeah, climate change!

So, think any of those will do the trick?

Seeking...

• A new place to live (six major floods in four-plus years is six too many)
• A new client or two (or the promised new jobs from current clients that haven't materialized yet)
• A hug from an orangutan (any primate will do)
• A nice shoulder massage (too many hours in front of the keyboard)
• A Wi-Fi enabled Blu-Ray player (Netflix streaming, baby!)
• Someone to take some of my comic books off of my hands (more go out with next week's recycling; they're too hard to sell these days)
• A nice reading lamp (why are they so hard to find?)
• My dressy coat (it's hiding in a box here somewhere...)
• Any art by F.G. Cooper (I'm obsessed with this obscure 1930s cartoonist)
• Time to listen to Robbie Robertson's new album (released today!)
• Dinner plans for this weekend (you in?)
• Time to draw my next mini-comic (the deadline for the Maine Comic Arts Festival approaches!)
• More time to blog (I've got some stuff to get off of my chest!)

My 10 Least-Favorite Beer Brands

10. Budgieweiser

9. Coors Chocolate

8. Sitting Rock

7. Zima Golden Wheat

6. Tres Equis

5. Corona Average

4. Guiness Clear

3. Sam Adams Summer Sweat Porter

2. Miller Life

1. Thunderbeer