Tuesday, May 31, 2011


The world population is expected to hit 7 billion later this year. Quite frankly, that's just scary. That many people means far too few resources for the people of Earth, not to mention the Earth itself.

And so, I'm proposing a cull. It's time to shrink the human mass, and I think it's going to be pretty easy. All we need to do is get rid of the dead weight.

And so, in the interest of Negative Population Growth, I present for you now a list of the people I invite to find themselves another planet. This list isn't complete, but it's a start, so here we go:

  • Everyone who appears on, works on, or made money from 'Jersey Shore'
  • Come to think of it, everyone who lives at the Jersey shore
  • All wildlife poachers, smugglers, bushmeat eaters and rhino horn snorters
  • Rapists, pedophiles, and anyone who ever said “She was asking for it”
  • Linux users (sorry)
  • All failed U.S. presidential candidates
  • All failed 'American Idol' candidates
  • Birthers
  • All Tea Partiers who do not drink tea (iced tea and sweet tea don't count)
  • Anyone who believes that the moon landing was faked, the Earth is hollow, global warming is a fraud, or the Protocols of the Elders of Zion is real (look it up)
  • Counterfeiters, online pirates, Somali pirates, and pirate fetishists (I don't know for sure that that last group really exists, but I'm assuming they probably do)
  • All listeners of talk radio
  • (And let's include the talk show hosts while we're at it)
  • Fashionistas
  • Anyone who believes that alien shape-shifting reptile people live among us
  • Any alien shape-shifting reptile people living among us (just to be safe)
  • All kings, queens, dukes, viceroys and people named Earl (except James Earl Jones; he can stay)
  • Parents who teach their kids to be bullies
  • Bosses who teach their employees to be bullies
  • Bullies
  • Slave traders
  • Day traders
  • Critics
  • Haters
  • Litterers (slobs)
  • People who stick their used chewing gum under tables or on movie theater floors
  • Anti-abortion activists (we need less birthing, not more)
  • Randians (I mean, come on, is there a more ridiculous philosophy?)
  • Animal abusers
  • And finally...People who make lists about types of people who need to go

Monday, May 23, 2011

Me at MeCAF

Me and my comics by JohnPlatt
Me and my comics, a photo by JohnPlatt on Flickr.
So here you see my smiling face at the start of Sunday's Maine Comics Arts Festival, table set up, comics and books and art spread out around me, and gallons of caffeine flowing through my veins.

It was my first public event / book signing in a year -- since last MeCAF, in fact. And it was awesome.

Despite the fact that I've been too sick to finish drawing anything in the last few months (thanks, moldy house which will soon be in our rear view mirror), I had a full table of goods to sell: my old books (Die Laughing remains a perennial), four mini-comics, and hundreds of the little sketch cards that you've seen on this blog from time to time.

The other half of my table was taken up by a great new friend, cartoonist Jamie Smith, who recently made the move from Alaska to Maine and is quickly finding the humor of his adopted climate. Jamie's a great gag writer and one funny dude -- he had me laughing all day long.

Attendance at this year's show was fantastic. And they were buying. I sold at least twice as much stuff as last year. Probably fewer comics, to be honest, but more books, and selling the sketch cards (which I gave away last year) was a stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.

But the crowds -- even more then spending, they were giving -- wonderful, happy, and joyful to the core. It would be hard to have a bad time in an environment like that.

And of course, putting several dozen cartoonists in the same couple of rooms is a sure-fire way to have a good time. I'm deathly afraid to leave anyone off this list, but here's a shout out to Jen Vaughn, Cara Bean, Matt Smith, Mr. Tim, Robyn Chapman, Dennis Pacheco, Randall Drew, Jesse Durona, Carl Mefferd, Maris Wicks, Colleen Frakes, Jon Chad, Dave Naybor, Mort Todd, Jeff Pert, Mike Lynch, Bob Jinx, and many others.

I also have to thank Rick Lowell and his staff at Casablanca Comics, who put on a helluva show, and the fine folks at Shipyard Brewery, who plied the artists with free beer and pizza on Saturday night.

The only tragedies of the weekend were that I missed chances to chat with too many of the artists because I was always behind my table -- next time, I'm staying a second night -- and that I didn't take enough photos!

Anyway, I'm already looking forward to next year's show. I can hardly wait for the next 364 days to speed by.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

This weekend: Maine Comics Arts Festival

It's just a few days now until the third annual Maine Comics Arts Festival, and once again, I'll be there selling copies of my books, comics and sketch cards, including this mini-comic I drew last summer at the Center for Cartoon Studies:

I know, I know, that cover isn't the best example of my artwork. The interiors are much better.
I'll also have 10-year-old copies of Die Laughing, and a bunch of other stuff on hand.

The guest list for this year's show is pretty impressive, including "Big Nate" creator Lincoln Pierce and Any Runton, artist of the wonderful "Owly" graphic novels.

The main event is all-day Sunday in Portland. If you're in the area, stop by and say hi!